The Story Your Body Is Telling You
There is a story your body is telling you, shaped by your lived experiences; those experiences can lead you toward a life of just surviving or a life lived from joy.
Our stories are shaped by how we were raised, the culture around us, the pains we have endured, and the moments of beauty we have experienced. The way we are allowed to process our experiences is what develops the story we live from.
If you have faced hurt and pain in your life (trauma) that you were never allowed to fully recover from, that can leave a memory in the nervous system that says “stay alert for danger.” Your nervous system is one of the driving factors behind your anxiety, irritation, shutdowns, and spirals. These reactions come from a trigger you might not realize you have, and your nervous system is attempting to protect you because there is a part of you that doesn’t realize you're safe—fully. It might have been one event, or it might have been small events that happened over time. That’s what it means to be stuck in survival mode because even though your mind knows it’s safe, your body is telling you a different story.
Sometimes our story is shaped by unrealistic expectations
This can come from childhood abuse, grief and loss, abuse in a relationship (not just a romantic one), emotional abuse, religious hurt, insert whatever your pain point might be here. Sometimes our story is shaped not necessarily from an obvious wound, but from unrealistic expectations of what it means to show up in the world. This is especially true for high-functioning adults. We are taught to bulldoze through life and have more willpower instead of honoring our capacity and living from the rhythms of rest our Creator intended for us. This can also be true for Christians who are taught a works-based faith rooted in doing more and “being good,” instead of moving from love and living holy.
These memories that get imprinted in our brains are called implicit memories; think of riding a bike. You might not have jumped on one in years, but you haven’t forgotten how. Implicit memories can create reactions we aren’t consciously aware of. If we hold unprocessed wounds or beliefs shaped by lies, we can become triggered without even realizing where it comes from. You might find yourself doing things that you know you don’t want to do but keep doing them anyway, and you can’t seem to break the pattern no matter how much you try to will power your way to a breakthrough, like losing your patience with your kids again and regretting it five minutes later. Or maybe you shut down instead of yelling, and you are exhausted from the disconnect you want to repair. You're always exhausted and tense. Pause for a moment right now and notice your shoulders. Where are they? Up by your ears? Or notice your jaw. Do you have it unconsciously clenched? How long have you been holding that tension? Relax for a moment and breathe. This isn’t something that’s fixed by trying harder or doing better. It is redeemed by lived experiences that begin to write a new story of safety and love. One where you can let the defenses down, allow Yahweh God to replace your self-made armor with His, and move in compassion.
You don’t need more willpower
This is why trauma recovery and healing our soul wounds are important. Rewriting the internal story and healing soul wounds is sacred work, and it does take time. It starts by realizing the work needs to be done and then taking the steps that lead to sustainable freedom. Surrendering the pen to your Creator is one first step and honestly a step that will need to be repeated often.
You don’t need more willpower. You need consistent, safe lived experiences to start letting down the walls of defense so you can breathe again. You need a safe and brave space to sit honestly without shame to identify the roots of any unredeemed part of your story. Healing happens in layers and compassion.
Get curious about what your body is attempting to tell you about the places that need to heal. Do this with kindness towards yourself. Not attempting to figure it all out at once. But intentionally just begin to pay attention
Spend some time to meditate on Psalm 103
Place your hand on your heart
Think of a soul wound you carry
Read this scripture to that wound as you breathe in and out.
Imagine that Yahweh is singing it over you, because beloved, He does sing over you!
Sit with this truth and allow Jesus to root you in His love!
“Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.”
Psalm 103:1-5 LSB
Written by:Steffani Luan
