How could Jesus die for this messed-up sinner like me? This is what I've been asking myself today as I also meditate on the day between. The day between His death and His resurrection. Can you imagine the grief and heartache His closest friends and family felt? How often have you reflected on the day between?
I think of Peter's soul crushing guilt he must have felt after he denied His Jesus.
I think of Mary, who poured out her oil in worship of the one who set her free. She must have been asking, "how could He leave us?"
I think of Thomas doubting and asking questions. He must have felt like he was going crazy. Where did this man I gave my life to go? Why did He leave us? Why did He leave me?
Where was Paul during this time? Was he celebrating the death of the man he would one day die for?
What about all those Jesus healed and delivered. Did they question their healing now because the man who gave them new life was dead?
How did word spread about the man who claimed to be the Son of God who was dead now? The gasps and the whispers... or the jokes that some were making...
Was Pilate's guilt eating him alive, knowing this man was not guilty to be put to death? Or the soldiers who beat Him relentlessly, causing His flesh to look like ground meat. Did they feel the darkness in their souls because it was obvious that Jesus' death was different than any other.
I think about John, the one who Jesus loved, who was most likely only finding his strength because he knew he had to care for Jesus' momma now. How he must have wanted to run and hide to feel the pain that was deep in his soul.
And I think about His momma, oh how I think about Mary. Did she lift her brokenness to the Father weeping? "I didn't know this is what "be it unto me" meant? My boy, my first baby, why did I have to watch Him suffer so?! Did the other women with her allow her to sit in her grief? Did they grieve with her knowing that this man who was her son held something so different and special to all of them? I think about her as I loosely hold my own children nervously before my God? "Be it unto me" is such a weighty declaration.
Did they think about Jesus' words, "I must go so that I can send the helper and the comforter?" Did they sense a little bit of hope, or did the unexplainable grief they bore keep that memory clouded?
Today we know, we know the whole story, yet there are days we deny Jesus like Peter and doubt Him like Thomas. Today we know the whole story, but there are days we unknowingly persecute Him like Paul. Today we know the whole story, but we forget His hope. We forget the life Jesus brings, and He still chooses to love us anyway! Oh, what a glorious Savior our Jesus is. Today I think it is right to sit and meditate on the day in between to understand the weight of this beautiful, wonderful story!
